Unequipped.

Constant feelings of being unequipped. Just continuously coming up short. They say love yourself, but that is only half. Self Love is only half the battle when you are at war with the world.

Go to college, volunteer, intern, gain experience. You do it all, but that never seems to be enough. It’s just constant feelings of being unequipped.

In interviews, you tell the truth, and some days you lie. It doesn’t make a difference; they all seem to hurt you in the same way. And it’s back again, constant feelings of being out in the world and unequipped.

You try to love yourself enough to say, “I am doing my best, and it’s their loss. You are worth it.” But at the end of the day, you still hear, “ While your qualifications are excellent, we regret…”. That’s if they bother to even let you know. Once again, leaving you with constant feelings of being unequipped.

The questions always start with “Why?”. Why don’t they want me? Why am I not good enough? I am tired of this war. It feels like I can’t win. I am so over this constant feeling of being out in the world and unequipped.

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