GYN Appointment

9.20.2022

Dear Faith,

Todays at work I found myself sitting here thinking of you at your GYN appointment today, and how that’s another thing that I took for granted, even the ones that I did go to, I should have gone in and just taken that extra step. I regret that now, that shit’s probably too late. These aren’t things that consume me but pop into my head when I do think about you. In all honesty, I know you’re already involved with someone else, I’ve had a good little time to reflect on our relationship and just how out of touch I was with your happiness and the state of our relationship towards the end of it.

Ultimately while the physical part of your relationship may have remained the same until we labeled our “break” a “separation” this has been brewing for months. What’s funny about it is that even in a couple of weeks (if we’re able to be completely honest with ourselves and each other) when you tell me and now, I’m not surprised, I had my suspicions and should have just read deeper and didn’t really get the queue until it was too late.

I then came across the thought that if you guys are involved like that then he’ll probably be with you to grab your things later today, and ultimately doing what I should’ve kept up with. Specifically, with your gyno I did slack, hard, and for that I’m sorry that I got so complacent.

I think what I’m struggling with the most right now is that in this newfound relationship everything is going fantastic, and where we were when we started seeing each other and dating. I fucked up. I really did. What I’m most afraid of is you not wanting to work on our failing marriage, which let’s be honest, is going to happen 100% and that’s okay.

Here’s why, ultimately even if you do come to terms and tell me you’re involved with someone else then that’ll be of no shock to me and my goal remains the same in our relationship. At the end of the day, I want you to be happy as much as I want myself to be happy, even if we aren’t together. We need to be able to be able to both be willing to work on our marriage and if either of us doesn’t want to, then we’re both inevitably going to be unhappy.

Whatever the circumstances are at this point in time, and maybe my heart’s betraying me, but I love you so much I can forgive everything and am willing to work through this but it can’t just be one person. If you wanted to, we can, even when we get divorced because I will always love you, provided i’m not in a relationship when it does happen because up until those papers are signed and finalized in court I’m committed to you. It’s part of who I am and right now I’m working on me and my own issues and making it a personal goal to not be significantly involved with someone else for a year, and maybe my feelings might change, and I won’t want to work on this anymore, maybe not. With how long courts are held up by covid that’s probably ballpark where everything will be finalized, and we’ll officially be divorced. Right now, I’m committed, we’re separated now but I know where I stand and will honor my vows. I’m not going to mess that up and seek companionship when that’s what caused all these issues in the first place.

I love you that much, that I’m willing to let go because you feel your happiness is in jeopardy with me and feel that it’s better in someone else’s hands. I love you that much that I’m willing to forgive unfaithfulness. You’re my best friend, and my person, and I love you enough to endure all of this and still want what's best for you as hard as it may be. Who knows, if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be, if we meet again maybe we’ll be older and more mature to understand the signs, and understand how to communicate better, and have a better understanding of what marriage is.

Until then, I love you and I’m letting you go.
- DJV

Related posts:

In kubernetes a service always enables its network access to a pod or set of pods Services will select the pods based on their labels and when a network is made to those services it selects all Pods…

Each of us can have a profile on smm panel social networks. What is the motive of social networks? It can be used to pass by the time, chat with your friends, watch humorous videos, take a look at…

So ging ich dann am zweiten Tage wohlgenährt und viel zu spät ins Bett und ja die Meditation wollte nicht gelingen das wlan war zu schwach und immer wieder stockte es ich würde nur öffne hinter…